作者: Tony An   环球雅思写作主讲

How to make a good first impression in making foreign friends

Students nowadays know that by certain level, without language environment, it’s almost impossible to further improve the spoken English. So, it can be seen often, in English corner, boys and girls center one foreigner, usually as tall as a pillar, doing their efforts to catch every practice chance. Chance, however, never be enough. The best way is still that you have a seemingly permanent foreign partner, who’s so nice, so patient, that could correct every minor mistake you’ve made, teach u slang you’d never meet in ur textbook. But it always turns out to be not easy, (except in the case that you are a girl, and your beauty makes a blue – eye guy head over heel). Why? Many stus have tried to approach, tried to be polite, and friendly, but it just doesn’t work. Is there discrimination, or the sense of superiority of the whites over us, as some students complained? I should say: Negative! in most cases. The obstacle, still, is mainly due to MisunderstandingS.`

Misunderstandings Most Frequently Seen:

M1: “In the first meet, you should play a good host;”

Students like to ask foreign guys in the meet: “how long have u been here? The first time in china (in chengdu) ?” ; They introduce the city, the food, the famous scenic spots, the university, the culture, the local people to foreign friends, sometimes in details. And it seems working, triggering interests, because foreigners are nodding and smiling. But you are wrong ! They just do it to be polite.

The problem is: 1 Do u know how many times they’ve heard about this kind of “ trash talk” ? Since they land on this city, people like you keep doing that to them. 2 Few of them really have interests about local culture, or they only like it based on their personal preference, not ur introduction; It’s just like you take a tour to a nice place. How many of u has the patience to follow the guide around and listen to the origins of those precious, ancient heritages? You’re busy in taking pics, scanning for things with attractive appearance, right? Just like most average people do.

So, my suggestion is:

*Don’t bother to search ur brain for “introductions”; Free talk!

*Treat those foreign visitors as average people; and treat urself instead of a tour guide. 

*It’s always better to ask them about their place than explain them ur place.

*They have questions, which certainly show where their interests are located; u answer; they’ll put forward more.

M2: The most common topic should be political issues.

The following questions are what I hear from ENGLISH CORNER, in the companies, or on the street between the Chinese stu and the foreign stu / teacher / office guy : “why Americans choose Bush as a president? ” “ I know US dropped a nuclear bomb in Japan in WW2, how do u think about it? ” “It’s unfair for EU to set limits on China’s export, right? ” “ Do u think China a strong country? ”

The problem is: 1 With multiple lifestyles, not all people like politics; it’s just like when u talk with girls, u stick to political issues?

Not everybody likes debate. Compared with other topics, politic is more intense and easier to create intense.

2 Almost all Chinese stus think they know US, EU well. However, without due respect, most of them just get some scattered information from textbook and newspaper. But you can’t say the rich knows the poor’ life because they often see the poor on the street. No real experience, no understanding! And one more big pity is that political issues cover vast majority reports on our newspapers.

The possible ways of solution is to recognize:

* Politic is more complicated than simply justice or injustice.

* We are in daily life; Let’s be casual. EXCEPT u are already close enough with ur foreign friend.

M3: Privacy shows close relations and sincerity.

Fewer stus now are asking: “what’ s the money like in ur position?” “what’s ur income?” “How much you get if u do the same job in ur hometown?”

But they are still asking sth else “ why u divorce?” “How many girlf you had before?” or, more seriously as well as more funny: the following scene is what I have seen in a snack booth: A Chinese girl, obviously a stu, kept standing up to pick up food for a white girl with her own chopsticks, and even, after biting, fed the same roast to that girl. How do I call it? Intimacy (unfortunately, the word is sex-wise), although I do know that girl just wanted to be nice, and to be honest, which reminds me once, my grandma kept picking up food for me and making my lunch painful.

The problem is: Western culture respects independence and privacy. Cultural difference does exist there. It’s like we Chinese never allow Americans to make their mom jokes on our moms.

My suggestion is:

* Proper distance is good.

* You have to know sth about basic

M4 “We hear a lot “fuck” in movie, so we use them a lot. ”

IF you do so, you are be considered as a fool, a red neck, or a  and one day, u get mooned.

The problem is: No foreigners like to hear dirty words from u, except you are with dirty guys, or with best friends, like we Chinese don’t say TMD everyday, except with close friends or when sth really bad has happened.

My suggestion is:

* A nice guy is always a hot guy.

You can see, all I want to say actually is that:

Multiculture education is important.

One grown up with multicultural background fits this world better.

Any communications, if carried out on the basis of mutual understanding, would be more productive.